Tapes up. . . Bobby's in da house

"DEEP breaths," she said. "In, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out. "There Mr Bacon, do you feel better, that will be £35 and a bag of jelly tots."   Oh, behave you lot will you? There I was yesterday afternoon on the bed of my 'mentor'...

I don't give a feck in this toilet

OH no, it's all kicked off in my household. The wife has arranged an Andy Summers night at our place on the 18th and now I've dropped the bombshell, I'll be about that night now because "the track's not ready". "The track's not ready, the track's not...

Boob jobs and Witches track talk

WHAT you say . . . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqMPDEGEAeA   Make sure you click in the above or cut and paste . . . . a chill-out tune for all you guys and girls, from me and Wishy, ahead of the new season, as we Skype each...

Bacon's crystal ball . . . Lovin' Vissing

SUMMER'S as good as here my friends and Wishy has booked his flights over from Gdnask. Speedway on the Heath, watching my boobie boys racing their little kevlars off, is nearly upon us. I've booked Wishy a room in Norwich Road for the season, the same...

A Christmas message booby Witches

BOYS and girls, my Witches boobies. Have a great Christmas and New Year and thanks for helping making this blog one of, if not THE, best-read in Archant. It keeps our beloved sport in the headlines among the hierachy. To the Witches of 2010,...

The 2010 team! Yep I'm back!!

HELLO you little boys and booby girl Witches fans. I'm back for a quick one! So the Super dooper bonker stomper riddick Ipswich Witches team is announced, Loobie's having a Farewell Meeting, the track is being re-shaped as I speak, Rev Western is the...

2009 . . the dullest joke

OK, so that's it, all over. Without doubt (2003 apart), that was one of the most uninteresting speedway seasons in world history. I'm not just talking about my booby boys at Foxhall. What about the rest of the dribble? What did Peterborough do? Who...

Troy 4 Lewis 1

DID I enjoy the dinner/dance? Of course I didn't. How can you when you are beaten by Nick 'cheat' Barber in the stand up/sit down bingo thing, with a first prize of about £4,000. In all the years I've been going to the bloody dinner/dance, I've never...

Again, a total disgrace

SEND your koala to bed Fred Send your koala to Bed My car is so unreliable Rob My car is so unreliable.     IF you had to lay money on which team would have transport problems getting to Ipswich . . . Great Britain or Australia . . . then...

So cruel Louis, what reaction?

LAUGH? I WET MYSELF ME. Oh God Loobie, that was the most hilarious piece of impartial interviewing I've seen since Wishy's Polish TV mate asked Tomasz Gollob how many times he'd beaten Craig Boyce during his career. 'Bang' I can feel that punch now....

Too late Starsky, the Aussies are coming

STILL no live speedway, but I don't care, coz although I won't be watching the Murdoch TV channels, it's set to be a great play-off final.   COME ON YOU WOLVES COME ON YOU WOLVES   Oh yes how desperate I am for Pete Personality Adams' Wolves...

We're signing an Aussie!

http://video.google.co.uk/videosearch?q=madonna's%20celebration%20video&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUK329&tab=nv#   Feel my temperature rising It’s too much heat, I’m gonna lose control Oh Madge, how I love you and your little...

Vote for me . . . I'd ban the lot

I CAN'T believe it. Nor can Wishy. My booby boys are all set to finish 6th (mark my words "He can't ride a bike anyhow Bridger"), and the play-offs were reduced to four. Typical, I hate sunshine and showers, makes me wet. So, what now then? Well,...

Darcy Ward? Don't make me laugh

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPCOqdznH6I   WET? You bet I'm wet. 90 minutes me and Wishy stood in that flippin' rain at Lakeside. I had 3 cheeseburgers and a schooner of sherry, Wishy had a bottle of vodka and some Nobby Nuts. Just as well Wishy's...

Breaking news, Bacon Blog decision

YOU'VE done it. You little beauties. Just when I thought no-one loved me, you little cyber boyz and girlz have come up trumps with your notes, letters and calls. My boss has eaten humble pie, taken me for a curry, sent flowers to my wife (and Wishy's...